Your 20s are likely the most exciting and high-leverage decade of your life. Good decisions made in your 20s will compound into massive results, while bad decisions can hold you back for years. Here are some truths that would have made my life so much better and success so much easier if I had understood them in my 20s.
1. The Willingness to Be Disliked is a Superpower
1.1 The Power of Being Different
Growing up, we’re rewarded for fitting in, but in adulthood, being different and willing to be disliked is crucial for doing anything notable or important.
1.2 Freedom from Others’ Opinions
Developing the ability to be disliked frees you from the prison of other people’s opinions. It allows you to do what’s right, tolerate criticism, and embrace negative feedback.
2. You Can’t Fundamentally Change Yourself or Others
2.1 The Illusion of Quick Change
When young, we believe we can quickly and easily change ourselves and others. However, as we age, we realize that change is more about adapting and becoming comfortable with who we are.
2.2 Acceptance in Relationships
A healthy relationship is about accepting and loving people for who they are, not trying to change them.
3. If You’re Not Embarrassing Yourself Regularly, You’re Not Trying Hard Enough
3.1 Taking Risks in Your 20s
Your 20s are the optimal time to take risks with the most to gain and the least to lose. Don’t worry about embarrassing yourself; this is the time to chase crazy ideas and dreams.
3.2 Embracing Embarrassment
Embarrassment is a sign that you’re pushing your boundaries and trying new things. Embrace it and learn from it.
4. Most Relationships are Supposed to End, and That’s Okay
4.1 The Temporary Nature of Relationships
Most relationships in life are temporary and serve specific purposes. It’s normal and healthy for relationships to come and go.
4.2 Don’t Force Relationships
Focus on the quality of relationships rather than trying to force them to last forever.
5. Your Dreams are Overrated
5.1 The Reality of Dreams
Dreams are great for motivation, but they are just imagined endpoints. Achieving a dream may not bring the happiness you expect, and not achieving it shouldn’t make you bitter.
5.2 Holding Dreams Lightly
Pursue your dreams but be ready to adjust or let go of them. They should guide you but not define you.
6. The Only Way to Feel Better About Yourself is to Do Things Worth Feeling Good About
6.1 The Treadmill of External Validation
Chasing external things for validation leads to a cycle of temporary satisfaction followed by emptiness. True fulfillment comes from meaningful actions.
6.2 Finding Meaning in Actions
Focus on doing good things daily and long-term, from simple habits to significant achievements. This brings lasting self-worth and happiness.
Conclusion
Your 20s are a time of exploration and growth. By embracing these truths, you can navigate this decade with wisdom and set yourself up for long-term success and fulfillment.
FAQs
Why is it important to be willing to be disliked?
Being willing to be disliked frees you from others’ opinions and allows you to pursue what’s right and meaningful.
How can I accept myself and others better?
Focus on adapting and becoming comfortable with who you are, and accept and love others for who they are without trying to change them.
What should I focus on in my 20s?
Take risks, embrace embarrassment, focus on the quality of relationships, hold your dreams lightly, and find meaning in your actions.
